Dating is Miserable but it’ll get you laid

3Feb/100

I challenge thee to a duel!

Boy 1: ha well - almost 4, which is only an hour before 5.
(I'm not counting the minutes, honest)
I'm just sword fighting right now
compiling
(not that I'm trying to infer that talking to you is like an epic battle fought on chairs)
me: hrmph
I kind of wish you had.
Boy 1: no, more like jousting with keyboards

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14Jan/102

Tide makes me hot. What can I say?

Boy 1: shh, you'll shatter my illusions of your hectic rockstar lifestyle
me: oh hon....boy do you have the wrong impression :-/
I did wake up with half of a vodka tonic next to my bed
Boy 1: That's a pretty good start
I didn't have empty glasses of G&T in my room this morning. Mainly because I finished it last night. Makes doing the laundry a much better experience.
me: can you do mine? I really need to do laundry.
Boy 1: If you want to bring it round, I've got a washer and dryer.
And a good gin collection.
We've got a work date at my place this evening.
me: you and your boss or you and me :-P
Boy 1: me and my boss
(I was going to stand him up if you were in NYC tomorrow night)
if it was with you it wouldn't be a work date
it would be a laundry date
me: that may have been the sexiest thing a man has ever said to me.
Boy 1: yep, officially speechless :-)

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14Dec/090

Boys boys boys. We like boys in cars. Boys boys boys. Buy us drinks in bars.

I have some kind of bizarre curse. Whenever I meet a guy I could actually like one, or more, of three things happens.

1) He becomes unemployed
2) He leaves the country
3) More than one boy surfaces

As a friend once said, "Boys are like buses. There are either none, or a bunch at once". Currently there are 2 boys I shall refer to as Boy 1 and Boy 2.

Boy 1 I met off twitter. **shockgaspawewhatevs** We've had 2 incredibly successful dates. He's so incredibly great. He's smart, funny, somewhat quiet, considerate, works in the tech industry, and seems to like me. (Translation: Very similar to the last 5 guys I've dated) He just left the other day for a month abroad. :(

Boy 2 is a guy from my running group I have been "mad crushin' on" since the first week. He's totally different. We both have similar jobs, he doesn't do any of the social networking or social media stuff, his cell phone is from like 2001, and he has my exact sense of humor. EX: I was getting ready to leave his house the other day when Boy #2 came over to where I was, snuggled up all obnoxiously, and jokingly said "You can't leave yet. We have to cuddle after last night's love making". I looked at him like he was insane, we both laughed, and without missing a beat I said "Making love is what you were doing last night while I fucked you".  He laughed then immediately called me out on getting that phrase from a t-shirt.

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20May/098

Fou est bien vivant à Paris

Since I came to Paris on rather short notice I used alternate methods (okcupid, couchsurfing, contacting old acquaintances, etc) of getting together with people here since I speak rather limited French. I knew I was going to encounter some crazy since the internet is full of them but I didn't realize how weird it was going to get until "Z" contacted me.

Z's first message was harmless enough. He e-mailed me directly on May 12th.

Hello Amanda,
I am "Z" from Couch Surfing. I sent you a message there proposing to meet for a coffee/drink as you are in Paris. I also read (and liked) your blog, and this is why I send you a message here.
I hope you will have time to meet with me. Here is my number: +XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
See u soon
"Z"

I logged on to Couch Surfing and sure enough he had sent me a message the day before on May 11th

Hello Amanda,
how are you?
I see that you are travelling in Paris..a great city
;) .Few words about me:I live in Creteil, near Paris, I
am consultant in management, and most of all I am a
real soccer fan..and also crêpes ;)

I would love to meet you for a coffe or a drink.. it is
always great to meet new people coming from other
countries (this is why I am on CS..)...if you are
interested, just let me know.. i know a very good
coffee place (I am sure you will like it lol)

Hope to hear from you soon.
Z

He seemed nice enough, had several people who vouched for him through the website, and I was still trying to get my bearings in Paris so I emailed him back to let him know coffee sounded like fun and to let me know when he was available.

On May 12th Z e-mailed me back at 5:00 PM

Hi,
What about meeting today at 18h45 (6:45 pm) at metro station "Edgar Quinet", metro line 6? wait for me just at the entrance of the station (there is only one entrance).
What is your number?
Z

As I was having a hangover day I missed this email, 2 others I deleted that were very forceful about how excited he was to meet me and his desire for my immediate response, and this one

Hola,
I think it is my 3rd message today.. I am such a stalker lol

Well, it seems that you haven't read the previous messages on time, so we didn't make it today (not a problem, because the weather is being really unfriendly !!!)....so, if you have phone it is easier, if not, then I work untill 18h30, but on friday will be free from 16h30...let me know if it is ok for you.
Z

At this point I got freaked out. This kind of reaction to a meeting for coffee wasn't normal and I decided I wasn't going to contact him again.

May 14th at 5:00 PM he sent me another message

Bonjour Amanda,
Are you still up for meeting? I hope yes, because I really wish, hope and want to meet you.
Z

May 17th at 9:00 PM

Hola Amanda,
How are you? I haven't heard of your new, and since you are not staying in Paris frever, so I decided to write to you again, even if you might find it a little "too much" from my side ( I recognize that I wouldn't have written to you that much if you were living in Paris..I am too proud for that). But as I am pragmatic, I know how to make some exceptions.

.I've read your last blog entry, wher eyou've said that you are not looking for overseas bf, or a wonderful date. I want just to be clear: I wasn't asking you to go on a date with me... but only for a coffee/drink/walk in order to get to know you !!! that is DIFFERENT !!!

Again, I like the way you write, it make sme think you are so interesting person, someone that deserves me to try again and again to meet you before it is late (you live in 2/3 weeks).

So, please, let me know when and where we could meet.. I know I know, I already assumed you accepted (again).. I can't help my VERY OPTIMISTIC side ;) ..I'd love to get an answer, even if it is negative (well, I hope that I deserve it at least after writing such a "long" mail).à bientôt, j'espère.
Z

And there is where I decided he was insane. If you sign up for couch surfing you check a box saying you won't use it as a dating site. There was no romantic tone in any of our conversations our one real e-mail correspondence. I sure as hell didn't think this meeting was a date.

May 18th at 1:00 PM bought me this via couch surfing

Hola,
Are u still up for meeting?
Zizou

Today, May 20th, at around 2:00 PM he sent me

Hola, salut,
ça va?
Just one question, and I hope you will do me the favour to answer: why don't you answer me??????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Z

I finally decided to e-mail him back since the no response just wasn't working. I kept it short, sweet, and to the point

I won't meet you because you are creepy, over bearing, and pushy. Initially I was all set to have coffee but needed a day or two to settle out my schedule and in that time you sent me multiple rather disturbing emails.

Please stop contacting me.

Just now while putting together this post he e-mailed me back with.

Thanks for answering me .

But I can't leave you with this impression on me, I have to correct it. it is not good to make an error, but the worst is not to regonize it, and not to try to correct it.
Yes, I did an error by "stalking" you, I knew it, but I was thinking that you came that day to our meeting place on time (it was really raining a LOT), and as I haven't had an answer form you, I haven't been there..so, I was thinking you didn't answer because you were really angry that I didn't show up at that day. Thus, I tried to catch up (in a very inappropriate way, I recognize it)..in french we say "J'étais maladroit".

Creepy, pushy, and over bearing, are hard words but I do understand why you think so. BUT, I am not like that, I am rather, nice, smart, funny, easy going, and very open minded (maybe very curious too..I am not perfect, so I have other defaults). Check out my CS profile, you will see what people said about me.

I think we deserve a second chance in everything, and so, I ask you to give me another chance for coffee/drink, so that you can know the real me. If I wasn't thinking that you are a person who deserve to be known, I wouldn't have done all that effort writing this long message (in english please !!!)

Z

Note To Men: If she stops communicating before you've even met she has no desire to meet and you "stalking" her doesn't help the situation at all
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18May/093

At least it’s dating with someone I love.

If you have been living under a rock (or are new to the datingismiserableverse) for the last few weeks you'll know I'm in Paris for work until the beginning of June. While I have met some fabulous people here I'm 1) not looking for someone overseas 2) not really looking to hook up and 3) not really looking period while I'm here. This leaves me with one option. Take myself out on wonderful dates.

While trying to decide how to spoil myself while here I came across David Lebovitz's list of 10 Insanely Delicious Things You Shouldn't Miss in Paris which sounded so delicious I decided I'm going to treat myself to all of them during my workacation™.I have a feeling my food loving/blogging friends (Shout out to Jen and Quinn) will get a kick out of this. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll even let myself feel myself up at the end of the night. ;-)

So here is the plan. 10 great dates with the greatest date I know, myself.

1. Dinner at Les Papilles
2. L'As du Falafel
3. Jean-Yves Bordier Butter
4. Duck Confit at Chez Dumonet
5. Henri Le Roux's CBS Caramels at A l'Etoile d'Or
6. Kugelhof at Ladurée
7. Eric Kayser's Pain aux Cereales
8. The Toasted Rice Salad at Lao-Lane Xang
9. The Chocolate-Covered Marshmallows from Pierre Marcolini
 10. Four Way Tie Between Jean-Charles Rochoux's Dark Chocolate Bar with Caramelized Hazelnuts, Michel Chaudun's Peanut-Filled Chocolates, La Maison du Chocolat's Rigoletto Noir, and Patrick Roger's Feuilleuntine

Pictures, reviews, and complaints about how my date had horrible taste in music, was a drunken mess, and wouldn't shut up to follow.

P.S. Yes I'll bring home samples of everything I can for the kids back home to try.

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5May/095

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

NEWSFLASH: The caretaker I have been waiting for all day finally contacted me to say he wasn't going to be able to make it until 1 PM tomorrow. Normally, I'd be outraged but I think the swine flu got me because I feel like complete ass. I'm hacking, sneezing, congested, running a fever, etc. Honestly, even if I didn't HAVE to be here all day I'd probably still stay in. I feel miserable. The caretaker emailed me to inform me so I did the one logical thing I could think of,  I immediately input his e-mail address into facebook so I could stalk him.

Ladies, he's HOT and as far as I can tell incredibly close to my age. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?!

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9Apr/095

BIG Problem

Recently, at one of the hundreds of socialwebmarketing2.0networkingstarup parties that happen every day here in San Francisco,  my friend Jennie and I bumped into "The Brits", a group of British men in town for a conference consisting of Hot Guy, Blonde Guy, Drunk Guy and a few other forgettable faces. We hung out with them for one night drinking, laughing, and flirting until Drunk Guy pretty much overturned a table of drinks on everyone and needed to be taken home.

A few nights later I bumped into them again at another socialwebmarketing2.0networkingstarup party. Drunk Guy had pretty much ruined my jacket so I took the opportunity to read him the riot act about paying for my dry cleaning. Blonde Guy and Hot Guy quickly defused the situation by getting me drinks.

Don't ask me how because the details are a little bit fuzzy but several hours, drinks, and bars later I found myself making out with Blonde Guy outside of a bar. Things were going well when what I thought was his watch got stuck in my hair. After a few seconds of detangling his hand emerges from my hair only to reveal he was not wearing a watch.  It was his wedding ring that had caused all the problems. I, of course, step back in shock. He was definitely not wearing a wedding ring when Jennie & I met him at the first party. I must have looked utterly dazed because....

Blonde Guy: You okay?
Me: You're married?
Blonde Guy: Is that a problem?
Me: I'm sure it is for your wife!

The Gods of Perfect Timing smiled upon me that night as just then a cab pulled up to drop a group off at the bar. I hopped in and sped off into the night laughing at what idiots men can be.

In other words, yeah buddy it was a HUGE problem.

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About

    I live in San Francisco, go on bad dates, drink a lot, and spend too much time on the internet.

    height="175"

    If there was a problem yo I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it...or you can just e-mail me.



    Try out this online dating site.


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