Dating is Miserable but it’ll get you laid

Pillow talk, pillow talk. Another night of hearin’ myself talk, talk, talk, talk

On more than one occassion I have thought the premise for the show "Kids Say The Darnedest Things" and instead they should do "People Who Have Just Had Sex Say & Do The Darnedest Things". 90% of my list comes from the first time I slept with someone.

"Dammit!! I just washed these sheets!"
"I bet that is what your sister is like in bed."
"Ugh I have an ingrown hair ::points to crotch::. Would you mind popping it and getting it with tweezers for me?"
"Yeah you give head just like my ex-girlfriend"
"That was so good I just want to punch you in the face"
"So uhhh....yeah....can we not tell [name of friend, ex, co-worker, etc] about this?"

That is the one that infuriates me the most. Relationships are complicated I get that. Most of the people I know have dated each, dated each other's exes, dated each other's relatives, etc etc etc. I got bored today and decided to do a flow chart of the relationships of all my friends.

No I am not the middle person.