Dating is Miserable but it’ll get you laid

10Mar/1030

Just say no!

"You want me to go down on you, don't you? I don't usually do that because I don't want to get a disease from some dumb whore but I think we're at that point in our relationship where I have to. You're mad? Why? Ugh...you're just like every other 25 year old I've ever met!"

Ahhh..the phrase that lead me to officially declare 2010 a douchebaggery free year. I'm not sure what is going on in Dude Land but in the last six months I have witnessed more high level douchebaggery than ever before.

Take Boy 2 for example, things were going swimmingly, (casual, fun, low pressure) when out of the blue he disappears for 2 weeks. No calls, no texts, no visual confirmation of his existence, nor a reason as to his disappearance. I finally see him and he gets incredibly pissed off when I won't drunkenly make out with him in a bar full of our friends.

The guy who uttered the above perspective changing phrase was equally as bewildering as Boy 2. This comment was totally out of the blue and followed by another 2 minutes of "you know you want me", "well maybe if you weren't such a hard ass all the time", and "If I was nice to you I know you wouldn't be into it". After his self ego boosting session ended I quickly packed up my stuff, downed my beer, and bailed out but not before patting him on the ass twice and smugly saying, "I don't know what game you're trying to play but I am not interested".

Note to Women: Women of the world, I encourage you to take a stand against douchebaggery in 2010. Every time a guy pulls a bullshit stunt straight out of The Game I implore you to take a tip from Jennifer Lopez on Monday night's episode of How I Met Your Mother and say NO.

Filed Under: douchebaggery is the word of the day.

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31Dec/097

A more than fond farewell

2009 was a shite of a year.

As I list off all the things that happened this year I can't come up with too many significantly good things. 3 of the most emotionally detrimental break ups I've ever had (1, 2, 3) occurred. My friendships have been tested and failed more times than I care to count. Zane moved to New York. I've been on more crappy bizarre unbelievably bad dates (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) than anyone should have to endure. Most significantly, My grandmother passed away.

Not to say 2009 was a total waste of a year. My sister and her husband (and all their federally recognized bonin' for procreation) blessed my family with another nieceling. I reconnected with one of the most amazing friends and supportive people on the planet. I went to Paris for a month for work. I was lucky enough to not lose my job in these "tough economic times". I got a shout out from one of my idols. I finally went to New York. I'm in the best shape of my life with the help of Marathon Matt and the great friends (Hi Jenny!) I've made from the group (Thanks Tiffany!). While this year has had extreme ups and downs I have to say I'm happier than I've been in a long long long time.

As my friend Keane said,  "Does life really change more from December 31 to January 1 than with the transition between any other two days in a year? Yes, it does. If you want it to".  And I really do. I'm starting this year completely anew. I've scrubbed my apartment from floor to ceiling. Despite interest I am content being alone.  My bills are all paid. I am starting 2010 a completely blank slate. No high hopes (except finishing the pilot I've been avoiding due to some intense writer's block). No lofty goals or aspirations (the most I can muster up is "read more"). No expectations,  least of all a midnight kiss.

So 2009 I can't say I'm going to miss you very much. 2010 I welcome you in with excited anticipation.

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14Dec/090

Boys boys boys. We like boys in cars. Boys boys boys. Buy us drinks in bars.

I have some kind of bizarre curse. Whenever I meet a guy I could actually like one, or more, of three things happens.

1) He becomes unemployed
2) He leaves the country
3) More than one boy surfaces

As a friend once said, "Boys are like buses. There are either none, or a bunch at once". Currently there are 2 boys I shall refer to as Boy 1 and Boy 2.

Boy 1 I met off twitter. **shockgaspawewhatevs** We've had 2 incredibly successful dates. He's so incredibly great. He's smart, funny, somewhat quiet, considerate, works in the tech industry, and seems to like me. (Translation: Very similar to the last 5 guys I've dated) He just left the other day for a month abroad. :(

Boy 2 is a guy from my running group I have been "mad crushin' on" since the first week. He's totally different. We both have similar jobs, he doesn't do any of the social networking or social media stuff, his cell phone is from like 2001, and he has my exact sense of humor. EX: I was getting ready to leave his house the other day when Boy #2 came over to where I was, snuggled up all obnoxiously, and jokingly said "You can't leave yet. We have to cuddle after last night's love making". I looked at him like he was insane, we both laughed, and without missing a beat I said "Making love is what you were doing last night while I fucked you".  He laughed then immediately called me out on getting that phrase from a t-shirt.

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About

    I live in San Francisco, go on bad dates, drink a lot, and spend too much time on the internet.

    height="175"

    If there was a problem yo I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it...or you can just e-mail me.



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