Dating is Miserable but it’ll get you laid

The curse of the work boyfriend.

I have a Work Boyfriend. My Work Boyfriend and I don't actually work together  as he works for the building my bosses live in and I work in their house nor is he my boyfriend. I call him my Work Boyfriend because he has always taken a bizarre interest in my life. Unlike his colleagues,  who I casually chit chat with as I come and go, he asks in-depth questions and remembers minute details the way a boyfriend should. He also carries heavy packages into my office for me but that's his job.

About a month ago as I was leaving work he asked if at some point I wanted to grab drinks with him. Since I often grab beers with the other guys he works with, and I'm not attracted to him in anyway, I thought nothing of it. When he arrived at the bar my friend Tabitha and I were at three sheets to the wind with another co-worker of his in tow I still thought nothing of it. When he began putting his hand on my knee, brushing my hair out of my eyes, and touching my lower back I realized he thought something of it. With each move he made I forcibly removed whatever body part of his was touching me and asked him to stop. It was very uncomfortable.

With each passing second it became very apparent he believed we were not just grabbing beers. When last call finally came I poured myself into a cab only to have him invite himself right in. I placed my bag and jacket between the two of us on the seat, positioned myself staring out my window with a cell phone prominently displayed as a distraction, and sternly informed the cab driver there would be two stops. I said nothing to him the entire ride home.

Flash forward a month to present day. I have been lucky enough to avoid contact with him since the incident at the bar.  On Monday he somehow learned it was my birthday and made an effort to track me down to invite me out Wednesday night. I told him I thought I was busy and I didn't think it was a good idea in general. My bad for not outright saying no but I'm terrible at rejecting people.

Last night, Wednesday, at 1:03 AM I received this text:

Amanda, I know i said i would take u out 2nite, but im drunk already. Maybe we shoud wait? unless u wanna come 2 the inner richmond?

Note To Men: On top of not drunk texting in the middle of the night to break tentative plans with a girl, learn to listen and read signals. Also, don't abbreviate the word you to u, too or to to 2, are to r, etc, etc, etc when texting or e-mailing.