Dating is Miserable but it’ll get you laid

Choose your own adventure

I can only describe last night in one word: epic. Since Zane moved to New York I haven't seen much of Tiffany. Last night her and I met up to grab "one drink". Tiffany and I can handle ourselves like the mature adults we are but if either one of us says "I can't stay long", "I can have just one drink" or "I have to get to bed early tonight" the other one deems it as a challenge.

We ended up at Chruch Key, a great beer bar here in the city, after a disastrous beer choice by Tiffany at Rogue. The Lost Coast Tangerine Wheat is the most vile beer I have ever tasted.  I'm so glad I took just a sip of her beer and didn't order one for myself. Thinking about it now makes my stomach churn but that might be the hangover.

ANYWAY, so Tiffany and I are sitting at Church Key. The bartender, Danielle, is awesome. She's bringing the entire bar together with anecdotes about being a bartender and her travels to Las Vegas.  Sitting next to me and Tiffany was a couple from Ohio on their honeymoon.  Tiffany and I struck up a conversation with the honeymooning couple about what they've seen, which restaurants they've been to, and where they have been drinking. They informed us they have 3 more days in San Francisco so Tiffany and I immediately busted out our San Francisco food and alcohol knowledge as the beers kept flowing. We made reservations for them at a few places, wrote down some more suggestions of things to do, and changed the subject to other things (mainly their wedding and how he proposed. OMG GIRL MOMENT)

After 5 rounds or so of delicious beer (mmmm beer ::drool::) and ridiculous conversation I gave Tiffany the S.O.S look. I needed food...like...RIGHT THEN. I had been craving In - N - Out Burger for a few days and was trying to con her into walking down to the wharf with me when the wife asked,  "What is In-N-Out?". RECORDS SCREECHED. THE ROOM WENT SILENT. CLOUDS ROLLED OVER THE SUN. THUNDER AND LIGHTNING BEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so maybe it wasn't that dramatic but it feels that way every time I find out someone doesn't know about In-N-Out Burger. I understand never going to an In-N-Out since locations only exist in California, Nevada, Arizona, and Utah but never hearing of one is just.......unheard of! Tiffany and I tried to explain the greatness that is In-N-Out. The freshness of the fries. The secret menu. The toasted buns. The sick pleasure of Animal Style. The wife was not buying our theory on Animal Style so I leaned across the bar and asked the blonde guy sitting on the other side of the honeymooning couple, "Hey, if I say 'Animal Style' what do you think?". The guy replied back with "Fucking delicious".  Which lead to an entire bar leaving with me and Tiffany to get In-N-Out Burger.

Once we had all settled in with our burgers and milkshakes I discovered the blonde guy's friend was a matchmaker in New York for Jewish couples. The wife in the honeymooning couple asked her if she thought they were a good fit and I zoned out of the conversation because the blonde guy said, "I think we are a society that has evolved past monogamy".  Warning: Peter Pan Syndrome!

I let him explain his theories while I attempted to not roll my eyes. Once he finished I went into my tirade of how the Instant Gratification Generation (also known as the Now Generation) is partly to blame for the downfall of courting, dating, and long term relationships. I'll save this already tl;dr post and sum it up with this; it is normal to not be 1012% happy all the freaking time. Relationships are work. Human interaction is hard. Our generation has lost the tenacity to make romantic human connections work. Blonde guy and I bantered back and forth about our views for awhile. The entire conversation made me realize I'm actually not that horrible of a person to date.

One of blonde guy's main concerns was about "being someone's doormat" which offended me as I'm sure a lot of people would consider me a doormat in relationships. I won't lie about the fact I have issues. I was a heavy awkward kid with dysfunctional parents. I've been dumped more times than years I've been alive. After a good knock in the head and swelling in my brain I feel significantly less intelligent than I used to. All of that stuff adds up to some not so great head space sometimes. It took me a long time to be able to stand up for myself and feel worthy of being loved (Thanks abusive mother!) but overcoming all of that hasn't changed the fact I still try to be the Nice Girl in relationships.

I'm considerate of how my significant other feels and how my actions will affect them. I want to be involved in their life. I have no problem doing little things to help them out. I'm thoughtful. I don't do all of this because I'm hoping and praying someone will love me because I don't make waves. I do it all because a) I'm not a completely selfish self centered person and b) I like to have a little ethic of reciprocity: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I'm attempting to lead by example. If that makes me a doormat so be it.

It may not sound like an epic night since I left out how drunk we were, the conversations we had, the fact I woke up with I ♥ Danielle written near my collar bone, and it didn't compare to the night I had to draw a diagram to explain what the hell happened but it was fun and I walked away feeling better about myself and where my head is at when it comes to L-O-V-E . Actually, it's more like strong L-I-K-E right now but you know what I mean.