People might misunderstand what we’re tryin’ to say, you know? No, but that’s a part of life

1Feb/1016

People might misunderstand what we’re tryin’ to say, you know? No, but that’s a part of life

Last night I was chatting with a friend over gchat about sex and relationships.

Friend: I made a dude cry once cause he couldn't get it up
It was the second date and he came WAY too soon and then cried.
me: I once dated this guy who couldn't get it up so he broke up with me.
Then we got back together and he couldn't get off so he broke up with me again
Dudes and their sex issues
Friend: Yep although this dude had the smallest penis I've ever seen so I wasn't too disappointed it didn't work out.
me: ugh the smallest one I ever saw I couldn't go through with it
Friend: Ha ha. Neither could I because he couldn't get it up
me: oh dude
wtf
the penis is so fucking weird
I'm going asexual
Friend: Ha ha.

The sex incompatibility discussion reminded me of a topic briefly discussed on my appearance on Date Night (R.I.P.) with Steph Dub. Bryan and Steph rhapsodized having good sexual chemistry wasn't imperative to a healthy romantic relationship while I strongly disagreed. I believe the point I made was, I can go out to dinner with a friend or call my sister for emotional support but I can't (nor do I want to) have sex with the people in my life I don't have romantic feelings for.To me, sex is one of the more important defining factors in a romantic relationship.

Which brings me to my question of the day, could you date someone you liked in every way but were completely sexually incompatible with?

Misery loves company:

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Question, Sex Leave a comment

Comments (16) Trackbacks (0) ( subscribe to comments on this post )

Quinn
February 1st, 2010 - 16:31

Nope.
<3,
Q.
Lizz
February 1st, 2010 - 16:35

Definitely not.
suki
February 1st, 2010 - 16:43

N to the O.
paul
February 1st, 2010 - 17:18

I could. Provided a healthy/consensual poly-type relationship of some sort was understood.

But why would I want to?
Amanda
February 1st, 2010 - 17:32

Absolutely not. Well, not anymore; my last serious relationship was fraught with horrible sex, and I was made to believe, that, as a woman, it was just expected that I would never have an orgasm. Why try when it’s just a female problem, right?! The catch here is that – generally speaking – MEN can still climax – even if the sex isn’t that great. If they can get it up, that is. Oh – and guess what happened when I told him – in a very understanding, non-accusatory way – that the sex wasn’t that great for me and we needed to try something different? He didn’t get it up for two months.
Abbygale
February 1st, 2010 - 17:40

Me? No way but what do you mean by «completely sexually incompatible»
amanda
February 1st, 2010 - 17:48

Abbygale,

For example, one of my gay friends was talking to a guy online. They were all set to meet up and out of the blue the guy asks him “So what are you in to”. My gay friend responded with pretty tame answers and the guy responded with “oh well I like dick torture and sounding (link is to wikipedia as I had to look that one up)”

Example #2: When the person is just so off your rhythm you can’t even guide them as to how the experience could be more pleasurable for you.
Jerry Critter
February 1st, 2010 - 21:01

I don’t know about your question, but I can tell you that the penis has a mind of its own and a guy often does not know what it is thinking.
Briony
February 1st, 2010 - 22:04

God no. I’ve continued dating someone because of the sexual chemistry but if it’s not there…. it’s not there. That being said – sometimes it requires a bit of work..
michelle
February 2nd, 2010 - 10:01

not for long :p
tabitha
February 2nd, 2010 - 11:37

No. I tried it once and kept up a very respectable average of twice a week, even though through the course of our relationship dude packed on about 30 lbs and I could barely find the thing. Then one day, out of the blue, he broke up with me. Why? He didn’t think we had enough sex.

Allllllrighty then
Me
February 2nd, 2010 - 14:32

I’ve tried, but certainly not workable in the long term.
Peoples need sex, peoples.
Griminald
February 2nd, 2010 - 19:57

I couldn’t.

If two people are invested enough in making each other climax, they’ll be able to guide each other to having a better sexual experience.
Patty
February 2nd, 2010 - 21:34

I doubt I could…actually I know I couldn’t .
Crystal
February 3rd, 2010 - 17:32

We talked about this before so as you know…

NEVER!!!!!
I have dated people in the past I wasn’t sexually compatible with and it never lasted long. My mind/body wanted to stray so I ended it. They can be my buddy, but my not my boyfriend.

Sex better be good. Granted, two people should give some leeway and time to open up communication between each other about what they enjoy and want. But if it still ain’t workin then I’d advise to give up. It’s way to critical.
"Predictable But Fun"
February 4th, 2010 - 09:56

Wow! I appreciate your total honesty with this post! We love reading the transcripts of funny texts or chat messages. Also love how you connected this earnest talk into the idea of sexual chemistry. Totally with you girl!