Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities

i’m sick of being single and you’re sick of dating assholes… this could work out well for both of us. ‘cause, hey, check it out i’m single, straight, sane, and hot as a stolen car. bonus features include: i leave the toilet seat down and don’t piss on the floor, i’ll hang out with your mom and she’ll probably like me more than you(“where’s that nice boy you’ve been seeing? tell him i say ‘hi.’”), i won’t cheat on you even though i’m still friends with my ex-girlfriend and think about her when i jerk-off sometimes. so now you can stop bitching about the following:

1. “all the decent men in san francisco are gay!”
2. “the guys who hit on me are creepy scum-bags!”
3. “does ‘good vibrations’ have a stronger battery for this thing?”
4. “when i die and go to hell i’ll probably still be single…”

fear not all you hot-respectable-savvy-young-women-who-fail-to-acknowledge-me-on-the-street-‘cause-you’re-busy-talking-on-your-cell-phone-or-listening-to-your-headphones-while-ignoring-everyone-around-you i am here! even though i’m cooler, more intelligent, and in far superior shape than you… i’ll still date you… and like it. i’ll even proudly introduce you to my friends/acquaintances. “hey, guys, this is ______. she’s like… totally hot.” i’ll buy you drinks, i’ll ground your throttle body to your negative post in order to maximize you torque curve, i’ll even cook you dinner/do the dishes. i won’t, however, pull the chair out for you at a restaurant… you can handle it. we’ll have tons of sex and stain the sheets. it’ll be good for both of us…
hopefully you live near by, can count the difference in our age on your fingers(not including thumbs), and don’t smoke(‘cause i’ll think you’re gross and won’t want to kiss you in those tender moments when we’re walking home in the fog after a lovely dinner and bottle of moderately priced, oaky chardonnay). this is easy ladies… problem solved.

• Location: central SF
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests