Dating is Miserable but it’ll get you laid


9
Mar/10
3

Please sir, I would like some XXXX more

This has nothing to do with dating but I drooled so much and re-watched it three five times so I thought I'd share it with my ladies and men loving men.

NOTE TO MEN: Buy these underwear.

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8
Mar/10
7

Misery loves company….and free t-shirts :)

Common Known Fact: I've had bad dates.
Little Known Fact: You've had bad dates too!

And I want to hear all about your bad dates, as do the brilliant and hilarious people over at Headline Shirts!

All you have to do is comment on this post with your own miserable dating tale and I'll pick one guy and one girl to win a funny t-shirt (of my choosing) from Headline Shirts!

I will also pick one random winner from Twitter! All you have to do is re-tweet this tweet for a chance to win, no embarrassing story required!

Contest ends Friday, March 12th at noon!

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8
Mar/10
0

I believe in a thing called love.

I believe in a lot of things; some form of god, karma, the power of former drool worthy leading men in drag (ex: 1, 2) , dreams, ghosts, and the healing qualities the "awww" noise has when applied to a sick or injured male.

One thing I have really started to follow is my horoscope. A few weeks ago I picked up a discounted copy of Your 2010 Personal Horoscope at Borders. For a laugh, I read about the "predictions" for months past and was shocked to find them to be rather accurate. I read on and was even more shocked by the accuracy of my situation with my friends and personal appearance. Being who I am and what I write about my, obvious, next step was to check into the future of my love life this month:

Love is good this month, but there are ups and downs. Without the downs we would never appreciate the ups.  The 2nd to the 7th brings sudden love opportunities or social invitations. Love happens out of the blue. On the 11th and 12th there is more conflict between you and your beloved. Try not to make things worse - work to minimize the negativity - the problem will soon pass. On the 7th your love planet moves into Aries and you become a 'love at first sight' kind of person. You become more aggressive in love - fearless. When your intuition is on, this is good. You go directly to your objective without the muss and fuss of all the courtship rituals. But if your intuition is off, there can be mistakes in love - bad choices. However, this is a month where you learn that there is nothing to fear in love, but fear itself. Pick yourself up and jump back into the fray.

Whether I was a victim of suggestion or not I did have an interesting weekend o' love:

1. I met a very attractive man on Saturday. He is currently looking at law schools (ick!) and used to work as a non-profit consultant. He's a runner and has a smile which rendered me at least 20 points lower on the IQ scale.We exchanged numbers and now I'm 2 quarters deep into a wicked intense game of waiting.

Score: Love All

2. 4 people confronted me about this post over the weekend. I discovered 6 things due to their assumptions:

2a) I found out an old friend is gay.
2b) It is very fun to tease someone with, "why wouldn't you date me!??!" after they drunkenly blindsided you by declaring they could never be attracted to you. The friend was quick to follow it up with "because I want to be your FRIEND!!!". Alcohol is hilarious.
2c) A friend has a crush on me.
2d) One of my exes from High School is gay.
2e) People talk a lot about oral sex when they're drunk.
2f) I'm a wuss. The correct guy did confront me and I denied everything.

3. I had a very intense hot make out session.
4. I can actually be friends with someone I used to have feelings for (major breakthrough alert) as long as they never cheated on me and don't epitomize "douchebag" as a lifestyle.

Today's Horoscope: Look at things from a more philosophical perspective, Scorpio,  instead of seeing everything from such an intensely emotional one.

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8
Mar/10
2

Relationship Rules

I'm more than amused one of the top trending topics on twitter right now is #RelationshipRules.

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Tagged as: ,
4
Mar/10
5

Hapiness is anyone and anything at all that’s loved by you. – Charlie Brown

I really should apologize to my readers. Lately, I've been lacking in glorious tales of psychotic dates and embarrassing blunders as I've started taking the Keane Li approach to life. I'm not dating. I'm not not dating. I'm just not dating.  I'd like to chalk it up to being extremely busy with running, friends, work, and writing (which I've actually started back up again) but a lot of it has to do with just being fed up.

There are only so many douchebags, so many annoying regrettable exes who spout hypocritical ramblings after you publicly refer to him and his girlfriend by their "super villain" names, so many bad dates, so many cases of Peter Pan syndrome, and so many instances of unrequited love one can deal with before one either starts adopting cats, referring to themselves as being a "Carrie", or genuinely not caring.

I'm allergic to cats and I always preferred Coupling as my sexual themed television show.

So yes, I've turned down 4-5 date invitations, let a budding relationship fizzle slowly into the background, and ............well:

me: I literally am starving ALL the time.
today I've had:
a banana, soy yogurt, almonds, a cliff bar, some carrots, and a turkey sandwich
STARVING
seriously ...I'm so ready to go home so I can go running then eat dinner
this is why thin women are bitchy
they're hungry all the damn time
Friend: are you preggers?
me: F*** NO
you have to have sex to be pregnant :(

If all my other reasons weren't enough I guess I could always just say I'm protecting my love of peanut butter.

IMG00079-20100303-2124

Found at Starbelly

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4
Mar/10
9

Dating Advice of the Day

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams, If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you any more."

- Lady Gaga

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3
Mar/10
6

Dating Advice of the Day

Make sure he isn't homeless before you take him home.

- SF Weekly

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3
Mar/10
1

My friends are funny people.

Friend:  I've never been asked out via GCHAT until today
wtf is our generation coming too???
me: weird. I have all the time

---------------------------------------------------------


love2

*Editor's Note*: Actual domestic violence, rape, murder, sexism and racism are not funny....but jokes about them tend to be hilarious.

--------------------------------------------------

Friend: There is a very cute man next to me at this cafe wearing a pink striped shirt and working on a very small computer....cannot tell if he's straight or not.
me: Ask him where his shirt is from! Tell him you have to find a birthday present for your best friend and you think he'd really like the shirt.
Friend: You are a genius. Gonna give it a shot.
me: Seriously labels are the best way tot tell if a man is straight or gay.

-------------------------------

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1
Mar/10
4

Buddhists get it twice?!?!?!

Part of my OKCupid profile reads:

messageme2

The other day I received this lovely correspondence.

amazingloverNOT

Putting really bad grammar and horrible username aside I absolutely abhor how men pick and choose which words to leave out of a sentence. Dating websites should be outlawed. I'm very thankful today marked the day I could disable my account again!

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1
Mar/10
0

Shiksas are for practice.

I have mentioned before how small San Francisco is. I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend that made my head spin just a little bit when I attempted to keep the storylines straight.

Friend: Hey, you know [Guy 626] right?
Me: Yeah. I actually went to drinks and dinner with him the other night. It was nice.
Friend: I told you about him, right?
Me: No
Friend: You know my brother's girlfriend, right? When her and my brother broke up for a little bit she met 626 off J-Date. I guess it never went anywhere mainly because 626 and my brother are in a similar social circle. Later we bumped into him and his roommate at a Jewish Singles Mixer . I got his roommate's phone number but we were never able to connect.
Me: Yeah and his roommate has a girlfriend now.
Friend: Oh I don't care.
Me: I know. Do you realize every woman in that story, excluding yourself, is named Amanda?

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